if anyone doesnt no already my new xanga site is firefightingbaby06

Currently Playing Here Without You By 3 Doors Down see related

hey hey everyone this will prolly be my last entry but this will be the most emotional one that i have ever written......

i have been having a really tough time with family life and personal life... especially for the past month... and then i went to homecoming day happy and ecstatic just simply for the fact i could get away from all of that... and then it happened my worst fear come true....

in the beginning of the homecoming game the principal had us all sit down and then she gave us the bad news.. three howard students had been involved in a deadly car crash.... on howard student NICK THAYER was killed.. and STEPHEN PEDDICORD and MATT MERSON.. were critically injured... Nick however was not dead on arrival he was unconcious but still breathing when the rescue crew got there.. and he passed away in their attempt to get him out... Stephen was supposed to come home today but will not be due to some complications that have arisen.. and matt has defiantely suffered the most.. he has so many traumas to the body its unreal... ut hes progressing nicely...

some howard students have blocked off nick thayers parking spot.. allowing no one to park there ever again.... and the administration seem to be cool with that... im happy because it will forever be howards ground zero... it took awhile to go over there tho.. because it was just hard for me period...

i have known nick for like 6 years and have been in love with him since the day i saw him both as a friend and a crush and he knew that.. n he liked me too but he also liked his gf.. *i hope shes doin ok* and when the principal gave us the shocking news my heart stopoped and i stopped breathing.. if it hadnt been for joe king sitting right to me i prolly wouldnt be writing this entry right now..

all i no is that i no that nick wouldnt want us to be unhappy and mourn his death like we arent going to live.. he would want us to live our life to the fullest.. i no he would be the first one to tell me that yea it hurts but death is apart of life.. and he is in a better place.. if he had lived through this accident he would be in a lot of miserable pain.. forever maybe and he wouldnt want that to be... he is happy wherever he is in no pain.. living his eternity forever happy and looking upon us with a big smile on his face.. i want nick to know that wherever he may be that i m now officially living my life through him.. he will forever be apart of me... ALWAYS... and i love him so.. he was such a great friend.. and he knew what i was goin through and always made me laugh.. he wil forever be missed.......

RIP NICK THAYER - October 2nd 2004

GOOD BYE EVERYONE!!!!!!!

i love u all with all of my heart :'(

hey hey everyone im at the firehouse... cool huh? well anyways i have been needing to get outta the house so for the past couple of day si havent really been home other than to sleep .... not even eat because i havent eaten but like maybe once a day but i eat out.... mostly healthy i think..lol.. anyways.. im really bored..

i went to a party last night.. i kinda felt outta place because i knew some ppl but the ppl i knew, kinew the ppl i didnt so it was bad because they paid attention to them and the ppl tht i didnt know even knew each other so i was lost kinda.. altho the party the guy was for made me feel like i was welcome but he was even still in hisown world... ohh well serves me right i guess...

homecoming this upcoming weekend!!!!! WooT!!! anyways im going ot diner with dan, and annie, and ben, and i think jakkie and then im going to the dance with them and the rest of my friends and we are going to party hard.. lol... im kinda upset i had to end it with jeremy so close to homecoming.. but it wouldnt of been fair to take him to something he doesnt like to be at in the real world.. and not have the feelings for him like i was.. and then break upwith him right after....

my mom said i have changed in the last two weeks too.  She doesnt know wht has gotten into me but she said to keep something like this from happening again i have to figure out wht went wrong.. n ht hanged because she doesnmt think jeremy deserved wht i did.. n shes right he diodnt.. but i dun think it was fair to me or him to lie... about feeling tht hadnt been there for those two weeks.. i mean i knew they were still lingering but they werent as strong.. n i will forever ove jeremy but i dunno tht i ould date him again.. it just depends on whether i can figure things out.. man it is really stressful being a teenage girl... : / anyways... i guess imma go before i upset sdomeone mostly myself beause if i keep writing this enry will sound like im going to commit suicide or somethin.. whih wouldnt be tht bad of an idea but i dunno.. i guess time will tell right?

love you guys !@!!!!!!!!!!!!<3

hey hey sup everyone!!!! im feeling a little better today.... i felt really bad yesterday because i had to do somthing i really didnt want to do but had to before i broke down and the state declared me mentally insane... but i dun wanna mention wht tht is because i dun think everyone needs to no n the person i did this too doesnt want a whole lot of attention right now so he can get thru this... but i want him to no i will always be there... anyways.. last night was kinda fun... a friend came over and we took a walk.. it helped ease my mind..... thnx u no who u r..... anyways i guess thts it.. im feelin a lil better.. im tryin to relieve alot of my stress by changing the way my rom looks... and the way i talk to my folks.. and the way i study.. and just my whole lifestyle in general i want it to be simple and easy..... well i guess i gtg to work.. bubaiz for now

LOVE Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3<#<3<3<3<3<3<3